The Devil Made Me Do It

For better or worse, people ask me all sorts of stuff about shotguns. When answering them, I strictly adhere to my Technoidal motto: "Often in error. Never in doubt." My self-confidence stems from the fact that because I've done pretty much everything wrong possible in the shotgun world, what's left has to be right, right? Well, maybe not.

Take, for example, testing for barrel convergence. The first thing I do when I am vetting a used gun that I am thinking of buying is to see if both barrels shoot to the same place. If one barrel shoots high left and the other shoots low right, you are in a world of hurt. Yes, if the barrels have lots of choke, you can do some oblique grinding. Briley will even install screw chokes at an angle if need be. But the general rule is that if the barrels aren't speaking to each other, look for another gun.

The above applies to guns that you are thinking of buying. Once you own the gun, the rules change. A friend of mine just took delivery of a gorgeous custom Beretta from Rich Cole www.colegun.com. In his first outing with it he won the shoot at his local club. Then he wrote me to ask about testing it for patterns and convergence. Here's what I answered:

"Dear Brian,

"Let me give you some good advice. If you have a gun that you shoot really well, do not pattern it, do not check it for point of impact and do not check it for barrel convergence. It's like going to the doctor's office for a checkup when you are feeling fine. All you can do is break even or lose. You can't win. If you are pleased with the way the gun works for you, leave it alone. You wouldn't dream of rooting through your wife's makeup pots and potions. If the end result is pleasing, there are some things that you just don't need to learn about."

I have always been partial to Belgian Browning Superlights. My first was a beautiful gun with an English stock and solid rib. I simply slaughtered grouse with it. One day a well-meaning friend advised me to check it for point of impact. I argued that I had checked it for point of impact often on flying birds and that it was perfect. But the friend urged me to "make sure." I should have noticed his horns, goatee and cape. Anyway, I fell for it and tested the gun. The top barrel shot one full pattern higher than the bottom. From then on, every time I picked that gun up that's all I could think about. I sold the perfidious implement. Since that day I've never had a grouse gun I've shot as well.

You have a great gun that works well for you. Kiss it. Hug it. Cleave unto it. But don't ask too many questions.

That's it for now. Boots off. Beer open.